For Grindr

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There'd always been a hint that he wasn't telling TJ everything. He'd never pretended to be something he wasn't. He'd never acted like he was anything close to normal. But still, the idea of letting TJ in enough to know more. To know about everything that was really important. A part of him was rebelling against the idea and he was more than sure that Mr. Robot was not very happy about it either. But what could he do?

He cared about TJ. He was as important to him as Darlene and Angela. So, he had to tell him the truth. A part of him worried, being with him wasn't really safe and who knew how the son of a political family would feel about his choices to dismantle those that run society. What would he think about the lives that'd been lost because of the war Elliot had started?

There were so many questions plaguing him and he'd told TJ to come over because he'd wanted to talk. He'd done more than his normal regimen of morphine and was smoking as he waited for him to arrive. He'd chosen his own apartment because it was safer, comforting to be there when he was doing something far outside of his comfort zone. Even the cushion that morphine usually provided him from the world hadn't been able to keep out the rising anxiety.

But he was going to do it. TJ deserved to know everything. Elliot knew he was attached far more than he'd ever intended and he felt like it was the same for TJ. He hadn't hacked him again since their first meeting but he thought if he did there'd be some kind of proof of his affection. Maybe.

God where was he? Or was time just slowing down?

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[grindr]

We need to talk never bodes well with anyone. Elliot hadn't phrased it as such, but the tone made it clear. The train ride felt like hours, hours in which TJ couldn't even have a cigarette. In his mind, it would've been faster to walk across town to Elliot's apartment. But what was he going to do trapped in the train tunnel with no distractions? All he could think about was Elliot and what he wanted to say.

It's over, he's sure that was it. Knowing that, he tried to brace himself for it. He tried (and failed not to look tense as he walked up to Elliot's door, tried (and failed) to give his usual casual smile when he was invited in. "What's up," he asked as if he wasn't preparing for the very worst.