Elliot looked up at the question, his brows furrowing a little as if trying to understand why TJ asked that and though he can tell it was genuine there was still a part of him that hedged at the idea of talking about her. He reached to get another cigarette to light up, more out of habit and the need to try and control the jittery energy that made it hard to stay still, hard to keep from trying to look at everything around him at once.

"I don't..." he frowned, that wasn't really true. He did want to talk to her but he didn't know what to say. "She wanted to be normal. I wanted to be normal with her... She was always taking care of me even though I was kind of a jerk to her for a long time. She always tried to make me think different," he took a long drag and then exhaled slowly after a moment.

"She wasn't supposed to get hurt. I was just trying to help her," he hated the wave of sadness that hit him, the kind that he usually crawled into the little nook by his bed until it passed. He couldn't do that with TJ there. "Sometimes I can't get seeing her body in that car out of my head and I can't remember how she looked when she smiled sometimes."